Hiya. So unfortunately, there will not be an update this month due to a combination of reasons.

The first is that I've been working on redoing my outline for the four remaining routes because I was not happy with the direction of them. I'd rather not write a bunch of scenes only to have to delete them to write new ones in their place. That means stuff will take longer in the short term, but be much quicker in the long run.

The second reason is that writer's block sucks. I've never had it this bad. I should eventually be able to work through it at least.

And the third reason is that my left wrist has been hurting for the past several weeks so I'm trying to be good on it. I don't want to end up with with long term pain again like what's happened before. My wrist is starting to get better so hopefully I'll get back to writing again soon.

For the meantime because I hate leaving devlogs without having at least something in them, have my random thoughts and analyis of the characters in Fueled by Insanity.

THIS DEVLOG WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

As a note, just because I may feel a certain way about a character doesn't mean you have to too.

-Jeffrey

For those who don't know, Fueled by Insanity was originally a story that I wrote back in 2012. The writing was terrible. I didn't know how to write back then. But anyway, since I knew the major events that were going to happen throughout the vn, I needed a main character who could fit several different things. He needed to be directly involved in the supernatural stuff that was happening. He needed a reason to get quickly attached to someone despite having trouble trusting anyone else. He needed to have both strengths and flaws to allow room for character development. I wanted a main character who had different morals and viewpoints than me. As an example, Jeffrey is ok with stealing stuff whereas I've never stolen anything in my life and am heavily against theft. I also wanted to be able to show what it's like from the point of view of someone with a mental illness and anxiety. I have type 2 bipolar disorder and so I wanted to write from the point of view of someone who struggles with it. It was also my hope that some people might be able to relate to what it's like dealing with a mental illness, and several people told me that they have and they're thankful for it. So I'm glad I was able to give that to people who wanted/needed it.

Put all of that together and you get Jeffrey. He's a ton of fun to write and I'm really happy with him as a protagonist. He's almost always easy to write and his dialogue pretty much writes itself. I'd say the hardest part about writing Jeffrey is figuring out how to write him strugging to with communication. That and also I have difficulty writing someone who lies. I'm terrible at lying so it's hard to figure out what might be believable to someone.

How I feel about Jeffrey as a person: I think he's silly, is good at bringing positivity, and boy does he need to both grow up and get a therapist.

-Ted

Ted is one of only two characters who was also in the 2012 story. He's probably the easiest character to write out of the entire cast. To me, he feels like he's his own character and does what he wants. The only downside is that means there have been plot points I wanted to do in the past, but there was no way to actually write them because Ted would never do some of the actions I'd plan for him.

I think my favorite part about writing Ted is the challenge of having to write from two different mindsets at once due to how he is. Everything he does and says has to be consistent with both sides of him and it's been like that starting from the very first update. Everything he says has to be precise and have a reason behind it.

How I feel about Ted as a person: I like Ted a lot. He's a nerdy introvert who never once judges Jeffrey. He feels like a very genuine person, and I wish that he was. He's still capable of change but he has a lot of inner demons to work on. Would definitely give lots of hugs.

-Daren

Daren is great. I wanted to write someone who was supportive of Jeffrey even if their ways of communicating don't always mesh. I was originally going to write him as well-meaning yet a bit of a jerk. Once his sprite was made, however, I tossed that idea out and I'd say it worked out for the better.

With Daren, I wanted to show a wholesome family relationship that would start out a little rocky but would then improve across the story. It was only later that I was told routes in almost every vn imply romance, and it took no time at all before people started wanting to date Daren, either in general or as Jeffrey. Personally, I find it funny, and my husband teases me about it all the time. The one downside to Daren is sometimes I feel pressure when it comes to writing him because I don't want to disappoint anyone, and he's not as easy to write as Jeffrey and Ted. But considering people still like him a lot, I guess I'm doing something right!

How I feel about Daren as a person: Despite almost every single person telling me Daren is hot and think he's husband material, for the longest time I couldn't view him like that at all. I only saw him as "Jeffrey's brother" and couldn't view Daren as anything beyond that. After over 2 years of comments, it finally happened. I like Daren. A lot. You guys corrupted me. How dare you. But ASIDE FROM THAT, I do like the dynamic between him and Jeffrey. No matter what happens, Jeffrey always knows Daren will be there for him.

-Sean

Sean is a fox. Obviously. Sean being a fox is also important. He, along with Jeffrey and Parker, made up the "fox trio" years ago. While they came up with that name as a joke, it's the reason Jeffrey's grown to like other foxes and have an easier time trusting them, because of that association. It's one of the motives for why Jeffrey gets close to Ted so quickly despite being iffy about other people. I wanted to have a character who Jeffrey felt safe around, even moreso than his own half-brother, yet distanced himself from due to jealousy. As the story's progressed, Seans's started filling other roles as well. He's the person anybody can open up to no matter what it is, and yet won't enable bad behavior. He calls things out as he sees it while also avoiding coming across as too judgmental. Most of the time, at least.

Sean is easy to write in some situations and difficult in others. He's an extrovert who's lively amongst groups of people, yet has a lot of his own insecurities that only come to light when he's in a one-on-one situation with someone else. He is some who's fun to write behind the scenes. What I mean by that is he's got his own life and story going on that Jeffrey doesn't necessarily see. Part of developing Sean as a character has been me writing out conversations he has with Tracy in private, and various phone calls he has with Daren. It's stuff that will never be shown in the vn itself because it's nothing that Jeffrey will ever see. Maybe I'll put some of it in side stories someday.

How I feel about Sean as a person: I think he's a good and genuine person. Very huggable. Would definitely spend the night at his house and stay up late watching movies.

-Tracy

Tracy is one of the few characters whose personality was originally based on someone I know. That's only her personality though. Her backstory was just something I created while writing FbI. I needed someone who was involved in paranormal research and Tracy felt perfect for the job. I also wanted a character who would play off of Sean and very outwardly get along with him. She's someone Jeffrey can get along with easily just as long as Jeffrey's able to look past his jealousy and misunderstandings.

I have seen some mixed reactions about the fact that Tracy is a trans woman. Tracy being trans is not meant to be a statement. Being trans does not define who she is. Tracy is trans because she's trans. Trans people exist. That's all there is to it. A lot of my friends are trans and so it would feel weird to me if I went out of my way to only have cis characters. Heck, all of the art in FbI is drawn by a tans woman. I was confused at first when some people said they were happy to finally have positive trans representation in a furry vn because I hadn't realized that wasn't the norm. Since then, there's been more vns with positive trans rep and that makes me happy. On the flipside, there are people who have told me straight-up that they don't think anyone should ever write trans characters and that it's a bad/risky thing to do, which... I really don't see the problem at all. So I've just ignored that. Tracy is trans and Tracy is cool.

How I feel about Tracy as a person: I could see myself being friends with her. I like paranormal stuff so I know I'd be asking her tons of questions about her job.

-Marshall

Marshall was meant to be based on one of the charaters from the 2012 story but that ended up changing immediately. The only things that he still has in common with the other character is that he works as a hospice volunteer and he calls people "sir."

In almost every group of friends, some people will be closer to each other than others. Throughout the entire time Jeffrey's had his group of friends, Marshall's been the person he's thought about the least and so he doesn't actually know that much about him. Ted's the reason that can change on some routes. Story-wise, Ted needed someone from Jeffrey's friend group that he could feel more comfortable around and have things in common with, and that person was Marshall. Marshall's an introverted bookworm just like Ted, so the two hit it off pretty early.

How I feel about Marshall as a person: I think Marshall's weird. I don't think I would have too much in common with him, especially since I don't read books. Still, I could see the potential of becoming friends.

-Caleb

Caleb is the catalyst for the entire story which makes him possibly the most important character. The story could not function without him. Because of that, he's also the character with the most amount of art. He's the character who needs to be planned around the most for every route. No matter what route you're on, he has to be dealt with one way or another and no two routes will ever deal with him in the same way.

When it comes to side stories, he's one of the most fun characters to write. I almost wish he had been one of the route characters and hadn't been the one who's cursed. He's someone I'd like to focus on more in the future in one way or another.

Oh yeah, funny thing. Caleb was apparently one of the first raccoons in a furry vn. When it comes to other furry vns, at least ones on major sites like itch.io and Patreon, Caleb was the third raccoon out there. The first was Kudzu from Echo and the second was one of the band members from Tennis Ace. I only found out after someone made a chart back then of all the different species and characters in furry vns and Caleb was one of only three. Thankfully the number of raccoons has risen since then. They're my second favorite species after all. Just behind foxes.

How I feel about Caleb as a person: I want Caleb to be happy.

-Parker

Parker is dead. That sucks.

In all seriousness though, someone had to be the victim in the story to show that the threat is very much real. I didn't plan on writing much about him at first, but I couldn't help myself after a while. I enjoy creating and developing characters too much. Most of that is in side stories, though he has appeared in flashbacks in the vn itself. Part of it is that I wanted for people to care about him. If it's just a no-name person who died in the past, nobody would care. It wouldn't have as much impact. That's the same reason I also had Sarah draw a sprite of him. It makes Parker feel more real.

Parker was also Jeffrey's best friend for a long time, too, which makes it even more unnerving that Jeffrey brought himself to forget all about him until Caijoru reminded him.

How I feel about Parker as a person: Parker is another person that I like. Ever since the truth or dare side story, I've come up with a whole story in my head about Parker and Caleb after that day. Maybe I'll write more about Parker in future side stories. Oh, and he's another character who's snugglable. It seems like a lot of other people feel the same considering comments I got after Parker's sprite was revealed.

-Benji

I brought up the idea that Marshall had a roommate. That made me consider what Marshall's roommate would be like and that's how we now have Benji. I wanted to expand on him more but there hasn't been much space to on most routes unfortunately. Right now, he's important near the end of several routes on account of being way stronger than everyone else who's there, but he's got a lot more to him than that. I'm hoping to bring up some of it in Marshall's route. I've tried writing side stories about him but haven't been able to finish any of them. Writer's block sucks.

I chose for Benji to be a lion because I liked the idea of a small mouse with a larger cat as a roommate. It sounded goofy to me. Besides, I only had one other feline.

How I feel about Benji as a person: On the surface, he appears to have his life all together, but that's not quite true. There is mention of it in one route. Aside from that though, he is going to get an nsfw scene in Marshall's route eventually. It's not for story purposes like some of the others are. I just want to write it for the fun of it.

-Blake

Blake is another character I came up with much later into writing FbI. I wanted to expand more on Tracy's line of work, and because of how important it is story-wise, I went ahead and wrote her boss as a character too. I liked writing him in Tracy's side story. I didn't like how he was being written at first in the vn itself, and I didn't like his sprite either. So, I worked with Sarah on redesigning him into someone I liked more and I changed up his dialogue to be less dull.

He's someone else who, like Benji, has more to him, though I'm ok with his past not being in the vn. I'll likely show some of his past in a side story at some point.

How I feel about Blake as a person: I think he's cute. Unfortunately, he's ace. I like that he has a much different reaction to the others when it comes to the paranormal. He gets excited even while in danger.

-Jesse

Jesse is the main motivation for why Jeffrey ran away from home this most recent time. He's also one of many contributing factors to why Jeffrey is in such a bad mental state and struggles to feel comfortable around others. Early on into the vn, Jesse is the easiest of the three main points of trauma for Jeffrey to deal with. That further steers Jeffrey away from being able to deal with what happened to Caleb and Parker since he's only able to handle one thing at a time. There was a character similar to Jesse in the 2012 story, though he was mostly just a part of the main character's backstory. That character was still very important to the main character's mindset at the start of the story.

Personality-wise, Jesse is basically a much less extreme version of someone who used to be in my life. I looked through old chat logs when writing the grocery store scene to aid with getting his manner of speaking to feel more natural.

How I feel about Jesse as a person: Bad. Good as an antagonist though.

-Caijoru

Caijoru is where it all began. Well, technically he didn't show up for quite a while in the 2012 story, but it sounds cooler if I say he's where it all began. He was my favorite character when writing the original story. Granted, he and Ted were the only two characters who are in both the story and vn versions of FbI, and Ted was written a lot worse back then because I had no idea what I was doing. As far as Caijoru goes, he's very similar to how he was back then.

Caijoru was inspired by the kitsune in Flexible Survival. I really liked kitsunes and that game was still fresh in my mind when I started writing the 2012 story. Funnily enough, one of my friends at the time tried to do a weird power play and told me he didn't want me to write a kitsune because he didn't like them. I wrote Caijoru anyways. He told me to change his species and apologize to him. Obviously I didn't. He never spoke to me again and I'm completely fine with that. It was weird. So I guess in a way, that means Caijoru indirectly removed a toxic person from my life.

Caijoru's dream powers were inspired by things that were happening in my dreams during the time I was writing the 2012 story. I had a while where I used to lucid dream all the time, and occasionally a shadowy figure would appear in those dreams. If I got too close or interacted with it, it would lunge at me and I'd wake up with sleep paralysis. It happened often enough that I was genuinely afraid when I would see it because I knew if I wasn't careful it would affect me in the real world via sleep paralysis. I thought I could turn that into a cool plot point in a story though so I went with it.

At the time, I had read about how kitsunes gain a tail every 100 years up until they had 9 tails. Most kitsunes you see in media and stuff have 9, though I also have read that there's been a decent amount of writing in which a kitsune will have less. Four tails then would imply that Caijoru is young for a kitsune, and that's reflected in his actions and behavior. His relatively young age and his many years trapped in isolation are the main contributions to why he is the way he is.

How I feel about Caijoru as a person: Caijoru is... complicated. His true thoughts and feelings aren't fully known to anyone, not even himself. Not even to me, his writer.

-Meimaru

Ah, yes. Meimaru, the character who fuels the entire story by simply not being there. I'd love to share lots of stuff about him, but some things are best left a mystery. You do get to see him in some side stories, though, so there is some information out there.

How I feel about Meimaru as a person: If I were to meet Meimaru, I would be both intrigued but also terrified, assuming I knew how dangerous he was.